Perseverance, Indomitable Spirit Tipping Points to Success

[This essay first appeared on the Nexus Taekwondo Alliance website. Visit www.nexustaekwondo.com for more information.]

If you’ve ever witnessed a student’s growth in the martial arts, you know that powerful breakthroughs can occur at any moment – that a mental, physical, and spiritual tipping point of sorts can happen in a heartbeat.

It happened to Omar. It can happen to you, too.

A stoic, hardworking Taekwondo orange belt, Omar recently faced the very thing that proved to be a stumbling block during his last martial arts promotion test: a 7-inch wide, ¾-inch thick whitewood pine board.

With shoulder-length brown hair and stringy bangs, Omar is a perfectionist who rarely smiles. Nine times out of 10, he’s serious. Last year, the 11-year-old was voted “Hardest Working Man on the Mat” as part of the school’s annual Taekwondo Tenet Awards. No one has ever accused Omar of being a slacker.

Despite his efforts, Omar has at times come up short on his goals. For him, the hardest spiritual hurdle to overcome in martial arts has been accepting and understanding the universal reality of imperfection. Not winning every game or contest or passing every test with a perfect score has been hard for him to swallow.

As a white belt, Omar always cried the moment he realized he had not performed – a block, a kick, or a form – perfectly. During game time on the mat, it was excruciating for him to be the runner-up.

He wanted to win. Every time.

Failure and imperfection are part of life, though, and I don’t hide that from my students. Still, it’s hard to teach 10- and 11-year-olds the other universal reality: Winners at life are simply people who have failed once, twice, maybe hundreds of times, but who still rose to their feet and tried again.

Earlier this year when Omar tried to break a board with a side kick for his orange belt, he struggled. He cried. He looked and felt defeated. Ultimately he broke the board, but not until I changed the technique from a side kick to an ax kick.

I could see he was still battling memories of his last side kick shortcoming. And when Omar marched up to me in the dojang and proclaimed, “I’m not confident in my break,” I knew he was destined for a breakthrough.

Here’s why: He said he didn’t have confidence, but I could see in his eyes that he was determined to try again anyway, and to me, that’s what was most important. Omar had the will and the indomitable spirit to persevere.

We got to work: First I had Omar kick the power bag hard, repeatedly coaching him to use the blade and heel of the foot. When he delivered good technique, I delivered an avalanche of praise.

Bam!

“GOOD!” I exclaimed several times, offering Omar high-five palm slaps.

Next I pulled out an 8 ½ x 11-inch sheet of notebook paper. I use paper because it’s a great follow-through tool. The student can see and hear the results of his kicks through the paper, and therefore gets used to kicking through the target.

“This is no different from the wood board you’re going to break in a minute,” I reminded him. “It’s the exact same material. It’s just a little thinner. Kick through the sheet. Make it crackle. Kick it out of my hand. Tear it in two with your foot if you can.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Omar said, still stoic.

Smack!

“That’s it! That’s it!” I screamed as he kicked the paper in half.

Next I pulled out a rebreakable board.

“This is a little harder,” I said, “but use the same strategy – accuracy, good technique, speed, power, follow through.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Omar said.

Pop!

“Aaaaaamaaaaazing!” I cried. Omar cracked a slight smile.

“O.K. here we go,” I said, pulling out a wooden board from my wood stack on the shelves. I knelt down on one knee and looked Omar in the eye.

“I know you can do this, son,” I said in a serious tone.

With a purple marker, I drew an “X” in the center of the board.

“Right here,” I said, pointing to the X. “Kick right here. Blade, heel, follow through. And you know if you follow through so far that you kick me in the chest, I’m not going to be mad at you. I’m going to be so proud.”

An upward curve appeared on Omar’s left lip. Then he intently stared at the board.

“Whenever you’re ready, let me know.”

He nodded. He took a few deep breaths. “Ready, ma’am,” he finally said.

I nodded, and then looked away. “Shijak!” I said, giving him the command to begin.

Crack!

The room of spectators that had silently gathered to watch Omar’s rite of passage erupted in applause. I roared more praise.

“Oh, that was a sweet break!”

Omar actually smiled wide – for about two seconds. He didn’t need to smile, though. Anyone with a mustard seed of awareness could tell how wonderful this young man felt by the way he proudly tugged on the stiff new green belt I later wrapped around his waist.

Through his board break, he had a breakthrough. I knew it was only a matter of time. Now he knew, too.

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”

Gandhi may not have been a Taekwondo stylist, but he certainly had a thorough understanding of the art’s most important tenets: perseverance and indomitable spirit. And now, so does Omar.

Taekwondo doesn’t have the corner market on building indomitable spirit. A strong spirit can be attained through anything in life that requires you to give your best – your all – in an effort to be a better person, to live a better life.

Indomitable spirit is a vital asset to have in your back pocket when life hits you hard. Giving up is easy. Continuing to trudge forward – even when (especially when) you’re not assured of success – is a road less traveled. But a hardened spirit (not to be confused with a hardened heart) is what separates those who eek by and complain about what life hands them from those who give their best, accept the results with gratitude, and ultimately succeed.

To earn his green belt, Omar broke through a 7-inch wide whitewood pine board and learned that perseverance and indomitable spirit are pathways to excellence and success. If an 11-year-old can learn this valuable lesson, anyone can.

What board stands between you and your life goals? What’s stopping you from giving your best to accomplish your dreams and goals? More importantly, what are you waiting for?

The tipping point toward the breakthrough you seek could occur in a heartbeat.